I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
