did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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