i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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