I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
