they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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