dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
