do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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