I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Can you bring me the toilet please
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
