Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
