why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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