ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
