I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
