quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
