I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
