took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
