Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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