Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
