i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
