Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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