What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
