actually, I'm a sock model
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize