yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
