Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
