I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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