dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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