i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
