Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize