his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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