Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This baby is an asshole
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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