a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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