Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
