yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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