What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
