I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
