it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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