So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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