Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize