I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
