wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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