my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
