UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
