I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
