I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
