and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
