I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize