bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
