too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
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Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
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you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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