proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My balls are so social today.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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