What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Found your dick twin last night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
