New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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