So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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