I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
