i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize