I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
