dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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