Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
