There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
