Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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