if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
