I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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